Connection

A few weeks ago a coworker/friend of mine passed away.  I don't have much information on the cause of her death, really that isn't important.  I didn't know her "well".  I say that lightly, because I don't know how "well" anyone knows anybody.  I do know that I knew about her history, her family, her personality, her job (of course), but even what I knew may only well have been what she chose to allow me to know.  However, I knew her well enough.  I knew her well enough to know that when we stopped working together over a year ago, I should have stayed in touch.  I knew her well enough to know that it would have taken me only 1 minute to pick up the phone and call her to see how she was doing, 1 hour to drive to her home and stop by to say hi, 1 moment to tell her she was an important person, she was loved, and she mattered.  I thought about it many moments of my life, but didn't take one moment to act on it.  Shame on me!

I have been thinking a lot lately about connection.  Connection between people, friends, family, co-workers.  We live in a world of connection, but do we really connect?  We live in a world where we can pick up a phone and call, text, email in a matter of 1 minute, but do we really connect? I'm feeling more and more like we don't.

I am an introvert.  I have a hard time connecting.  I "fret" about connecting with people because I doubt my abilities to present myself in a fashion, acceptable to me.  Picking up the phone to call someone makes me nervous, if I have to have a social conversation with an acquaintance, a stranger and sometimes even a friend, I break out in a small rash.  I avoid making eye contact in a public place, with PEOPLE I KNOW!!! (it's crazy) because making small talk is sooo hard.  I would rather hold a conversation with the check out lady...because if I make a fool of myself, or say something totally wacky, she won't probably ever remember me anyway.  I also struggle with the emotions of connecting. Other people's emotions literally can engulf my being and I don't know what to do with them.  Sometimes I cry just standing next to someone who I know is emotionally struggling.

Because I am an introvert I also know this.  Connection is necessary to survive. I guess I should have said EVEN as an introvert I know connection is necessary to survive.  Without connections we can feel invisible.  No one should feel invisible.  Yet, people do,  because of lack of connection.

I have not been doing a good job of connecting.  I place myself in my safe bubble, and I move through the motions of work, motherhood, wife hood, volunteerism, etc.. and I don't connect.  I make people feel invisible.  Why??  I love connecting! I love to really get to connect on a deep level with people, but getting there takes some work, and maintaining it takes some work, and then I get sort of tired, and want to go back in my bubble where it's safe.

I decided that is my New Year's Resolution.  I am going to work to connect.  I don't want anyone that I call friend, family, co-worker, acquaintance....ANYONE, to feel invisible.   I want to keep a connection that is good and supportive.  I often wonder,  "How many people gave me a thought today.  How many times did I cross someones mind today?"  Without connection no one ever knows, and I believe NO ONE, should every feel like they didn't cross someone's mind.  Connection can be simple. Because of the technology of today one small, short, 10 sec text can let someone know they aren't invisible, they aren't forgotten, they aren't alone.  That 10 seconds of my day may help someone get through a month. 

I challenge everyone to think about connecting.  Make someone aware of their importance.  It really only takes about 10 second, and maybe that 10 seconds will turn into exactly what someone else was needing.   Maybe that connection will rekindle a friendship, and that friendship will build a foundation for a support system, and that support system will make someone feel like life is worth living.   Or maybe it will just make someone smile.  Either way, it's all about connection.